Clarity

So, life has become quite hectic in the past three years or so, and I feel as though I have become a bit lost. Despite the fact that I have had most of the happiest moments of my life so far in these past few years, they have also been some of the most difficult, as there has been no financial or emotional consistency. Life has been a major roller coaster ride and a whirlwind blur of emotions and events.

A dog who shits while he pisses.
A true multi-tasker here!
If only life's confusion were as simple as
a miscommunication between your bowels..

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a huge rush to get my life over with, it's like that Alabama song "I'm in a hurry to get things done, oh I, rush and rush until life's no fun... All I really gotta do is live and die, but I'm in a hurry and don't know why..."

Since June of 2007, I graduated high school a whole year early, went straight to college, competed in a bunch of swimming/diving competitions and worked my way up to nationals; I dated around, partied a bit, then fell in love with my childhood crush, got pregnant, engaged, moved out of my parents' house, moved back into their house, rehabbed a condo, moved into the condo and out of my parents' house for good, quit my job, had a baby, (keep in mind all of this while still working), moved into a house, moved out of the house and into my husband's parents' house, lost my grandmother to cancer, moved out of their house and back into the condo, planned a wedding, turned 21, got married, (still in school...), and now I'm here.

My husband and I (July 2008).
Trace Adkins concert at RibFest.
One of the last times I felt as though
life was completely in order.

It's the end of January 2011 already, and I feel like the biggest moments of my life have just completely flown by me. Originally my goal for this blog was to tell others about how I am trying to change my home and make it a more healthy environment not only for my family and guests, but for the world as well by using earth friendly, natural products, and to document how the changes were going for myself and my family. However, after a bit of self-reflection and some bad news, I feel as though despite the fact that I've found completely new sides to myself that I never knew existed since life decided to become a blur, I have lost a bit of myself as well. I've become confused about my entire life, I don't feel confident in my decision-making abilities, I've been lacking the motivation to get simple tasks done like cleaning the house or emptying the dishwasher. All in all, call me crazy, but I think I've become burnt out. I feel like the speed of the last three years has taken a major toll on my confidence and my creativity.

NJCAA Swimming & Diving
National Championships 2008
There has never been a moment in my life
where I have felt more focused than that day.

So, my goal for this blog is to document the journey of a stay-at-home mom, wife, and full-time student toward learning more about herself, her family, the world around us and everything it has to offer. From simple humor, to tackling global issues, to home decorating, childrearing, education, and everything I can possibly think of, I hope to tackle one topic each day, be it researching or trying a new product and writing about it, to giving a glimpse into the hilarity of motherhood, my hope for this blog is to touch the hearts, minds, and souls of others, and to hopefully gain some insight into what it is I am meant to do in this life. I am beginning a search for clarity, balance, and selflessness.

Welcome to my virtual vision board. Enjoy what is to come.

~K.D. Bugs

Motivation and Inspiration

Today would have been my Grandmother's 76th birthday. She passed away last February, after an amazing, grueling fight against multiple boughts of cancer that lasted nearly thirty years. My Gram was an extremely amazing woman; born with a mobility issue after her umbilical cord cut off most of the circulation to her feet, my Grandmother spent the better part of her childhood in and out of hospitals, and relatively bedridden due to various surgeries. I don't think she never knew a life without some sort of physical pain.

Left to Right: Me, My Grandmother, Cousin Brenna

Gram (as I called her) lived with the fact that people stared at the way she walked, she lived with the thought of knowing she could not physically participate in athletics, she lived much of her life during a time that was widely inaccessible to individuals with physical impairments. Yet, thanks to yet another amazing woman in our family (Gram's mother), my Grandma never pitied herself, never sought sympathy, never complained, never hung her head in shame. My Gram got married, she had two beautiful daughters (one of which is my lovely mommy), lived through an abusive marriage and pulled herself up by her bootstraps and sought to raise her daughters on her own. My Grandmother was one of few single mothers during her time, and was proud of what she had lived through, and had provided for her daughters.

Yet another amazing accomplishment came after Gram remarried and began raising not only her first two daughters, but a stepson, a son, and another daughter. My Grandmother was yet again one of very few of her kind, as she went back to college at nearly forty years old. She graduated and became a dietitian, which she took great pride in doing at several hospitals.

My grandmother fought and survived cervical cancer, and three battles with lymphoma. Unfortunately, a life of physical pain is never endured easily, and 75 years is a lot of fight to have for a single woman barely five feet tall. She was an amazingly warm, loving, loyal, spirited, intelligent, sincere woman who is dearly loved and missed every minute of every day.

My only hope in life is to provide as much love and dedication to my family and children as my Gram gave to the world. The greatest lesson I learned from Gram (aside from unconditional love and support) was to "Buck up" and tough it out.

Life isn't easy, and it sure as hell isn't fair, but one thing's for sure, it's one hell of a ride and it's way too short to spend unhappy.

~K.D. Bugs

Why am I doing this?

I have always been a relatively health-conscious, physically active person. I have always tried to eat healthy, stay active, and seek out appropriate health care. After all, accomplishing those things are easy when your only responsibilities are yourself, school, and a part-time job.

But my life made a complete "180" when I became pregnant and engaged at 18. In less than nine months, I became engaged, we completely gutted and renovated an 1,100 square foot condo, I moved permanently out of my parents' home for the first and only time, I both attended school and worked full time, I went on maternity leave, gave birth to my first child, and for the first time in my life, became completely responsible for myself, as well as the life of another. Needless to say, life became chaotic.

I have now been a stay-at-home mom and full-time student for the better half of two years, sporadically working part-time. Money is usually tight, so my husband and I make every effort to spend as little money as possible on nearly everything. We buy the cheapest groceries, the cheapest personal care products, the cheapest home cleaning products etc., all without any concern regarding the content of the products we purchase. The truth is, our main focus has become the monetary cost of things, rather than the physical well-being of our family. But what good has this done for us?

The answer is, nothing good has come of this frugality and lack of research. We have become fat, inactive, tired, broke, and have likely contributed to the possibilities of one of us developing cancer or some other major medical concern.

In all honesty, I was always aware of the potential risk factors (or the lack of knowledge regarding such scientific procedures) associated with foods produced or altered through genetic engineering, the risks of using home cleaning products containing harmful chemicals, and all the other potential health hazards that we as humans encounter on a daily basis. But I did not concern myself with these potential killers, instead I turned a blind eye and continued to use products that I had used for years, and continued to try new ones. It was not until this past fall semester when I sat through a group presentation in my Introduction to Sociology class that I became concerned with the amount of potentially harmful products that my family is exposed to every day.

The group presented the topic of the dangers of personal care or cosmetic items, and brought to my attention the following website: http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/

This site is so simple, yet so valuable and frightening. It lists thousands of personal care items that millions use daily, and rates them on a scale of toxicity to the human body. I was shocked to learn that so many personal care items like face and body wash, along with shampoos and conditioners contain human carcinogens (that is, ingredients that cause cancer in humans), and was deeply disturbed when I looked up the toxicity ratings of the products my husband, my daughter, and I use on a daily basis. Here are just a few that shocked me:

Johnson's Bedtime Lotion                                                                                Toxicity Rating: 6 out of 10
Johnson & Johnson No More Tears Baby Shampoo                                        Toxicity Rating: 5 out of 10
Aveeno Positively Radiant Moisturizing Lotion                                                 Toxicity Rating: 8 out of 10
Crest 3D White Vivid Flouride Anticavity Toothpaste, Radiant Mint                 Toxicity Rating: 5 out of 10

After having watched my grandmother battle cancer four out of five times, and ultimately losing her to the disease last year, it was nearly impossible for me to ignore this kind of information. These little slaps in the face only kept coming as I watched Inga Tritt explain  how any why she created her line of natural personal care products called Original Sprout (http://www.originalsprout.com/), and as I read the bottles to the products kept inside my medicine cabinet and realized the amount of chemicals my family takes into their bodies daily.

So I am now determined to make every possible effort to create a naturally pure, happy, and healthy lifestyle for my family by educating myself on the ingredients of personal care products, home cleaning products, and the processes used to produce the groceries we purchase. This is my attempt to create a naturally healthy way of life for myself and my family.

I hope you join me on this journey toward naturally pure, happy health.

~K.D. Bugs